With Love, Understanding Daughter
Dear Birth Parents,
There are a million things I want to say to you, but at the same time I feel at a loss for words. I've written plenty of letters to loved ones in my life, but never to two strangers. How strange it has been, to not know my own birth parents - the two people who created me, who gave me life. My mother and father. Every time someone takes my picture, or I look in the mirror, I stare at my face and can't help but wonder if it resembles either of yours.
I am almost 27 years old, but only began actively searching for my birth relatives when I was 21. After I graduated from college, I ordered myself a 23andme DNA kit. I had hopes that I would find some close relatives...but to this day, the closest relative I have been matched with is a 3rd - 5th cousin. I keep hoping one day I'll log onto the site and, by some miracle, will be matched with a first cousin, or an aunt. Or - and this is probably a longshot - I'll be matched with both of you.
It's awfully hard to describe what it's like having birth parents you know nothing about. I feel protective of you, because you're my parents. But at the same time, I feel little to no connection to you, because I have no information about you. It's quite frustrating. I wish I had some tidbit of information about you - your names, your ages, a photograph of you both. Anything. I want to say I miss you terribly, but how do you miss two people you don't know? How do you crave the love and affection from parents who you have never met?
Amidst the tangle of emotions and thoughts I have towards you, it's always been clear to me that I want to reunite with you someday. I want to go to Guangdong, and walk the streets where you may have walked while you were pregnant with me. I want to feel more connected to my birth country, a place I haven't visited since I was adopted. And mostly, I want to hug you both, and let you know how thankful I am that you created me and gave me life. Someday, I promise I will do my best to find you both.
With Love,
Understanding Daughter
Adoptee, 26
From Guangdong Province; Living in Boston, MA, USA
The views expressed in blog posts reflect those of the authors and do not necessarily represent the shared views of The Nanchang Project as a whole.
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